The battery operated boyfriend

Getting free samples to review is the perks of the job, so the arrival in the office this morning from new sexual wellness brand Happy Lola certainly created quite the buzz. It was quite the shock to empty the contents of Adult Toys onto the desk in our morning briefing; anal beads, love eggs, butt plugs and clitoral vibrators tumbling out. The huge double penetration dildo raised more giggles than orgasms, cheeks flush red from embarrassment and not orgastic pleasure. After much debate on “who was at that stage in their relationship”, I drew the short (bullet) vibrator to take them home and write about them, testing optional. Lucky I had a void in my life that required filling since Love Island had finished.

Quite why it caused that reaction is unknown, probably because it’s not a previous topic of discussion in the work circle. Once the titillation had died down and it was back to business, I was in full-on research mode. Marital aids alledged dated back far before 50 Shades of Grey brought them into my teenage life. The bread dildo is depicted on ancient Greek artefacts, the Japanese Geisha girls used Ben Wa Balls, and archaeologists debate the use of unearthed discoveries from the stone age. Regardless if these phallic siltstones were used as female masturbation toys, I can imagine medieval man was not big on the fore-play or pleasing his lady during coitus. And a girl has to get her O-face on.

Sexual Wellness

Studies state 50% of the population own a device to stimulate sexual pleasure, with positive impacts on health and emotional wellbeing well documented and sexual wellness the latest buzzword. Owning adult sexcessories are no longer taboo although it’s still not a conversation I would want to have with my parents. Supermarkets sell them, and they are readily available to online shoppers and sex shop visitors. Women freely admitting to owning sexual paraphernalia, vibrators more popular than the dildo penetration toy. Men it seemed were more coy about admitting to owning a masturbatory aid like a fleshlight artificial vagina or a prostate massager.

Toying for sexual enhancement

When the boyfriend and I cuddled up on the sofa for a bit of Netflix and chill, I brought up the subject and sought his views. He suggested that straight men would perhaps struggle to admit using an anal vibrator or penis sleeve. In the same breath, he then denied ever using a sexual aid in solo masturbation. He declared that a sex robot would be too strange for him, but would be interested in seeing a sex doll out of curiosity more than sexual intention. I then broke our couples task for the evening and he made me promise it did not involve a strap-on dildo. I sensed excited trepidation as I reached for my bag of sexcessory goodies for our couples night in testing the best adult toys on the market.

sexual wellness  “Is that an electric massager?” he asked as a pulled out a wand vibrator. He was right, the Hitachi Magic Wand was always marketed as a massager despite a 1979 study which found it to be the best method for achieving an orgasm. So we got straight into testing out the various functions and speed settings, using the silicone head for a deep tissue massage. Perhaps him insisting I did his back first was not the most romantic, but it was apparently very relaxing.

Next up was the classic bullet vibrator. Small and discreet but powerful. Many a personal favourite is the clitoral vibrator, as easily hidden away and it’s true function not instantly obvious. This clit tickler was near silent and had 7 modes of speed and pulsation and I must say it hit the spot nicely.


By now my bae was eager for some action and I told him if he wanted it, he had to put a ring on it. The vibrating cock ring is not something either of us had used before but would definitely use again. It has mutual benefit as keeps the penis harder for longer, and the vibration stimulates the clitoris. It might have been the erotic and passionate build-up but it was a knee-wobbling climax for us both.

Now I have to admit that we were so exhausted that we decided to watch some videos so I could continue my research. His choice was some girl on girl action with a doubledong, and then a clip of a solo female on a Sybian. We then watched a clitoral pump in action which works much like the penis pump, but he was not in a sex machine mood so we called it a night.


The next evening he was out so it was an ideal opportunity for me to try out something I purposely held back, the Rabbit vibrator. Originating in Japan where obscenity laws forced all adult toys to be hidden by animal designs, it was brought to the USA by Vibratex and hit the mainstream thanks to Sex and the City. I have a confession to make, I already own an Ann Summer‘s Rampant Rabbit and it’s been my guilty pleasure for many years after gifting me my first ever orgasm. This girl’s best friend who has never let me down. I felt like I was cheating as I unpacked the sleek dual-action vibrator, and slunk into the bath to relax. If you’ve not used a Jessica Rabit Vibrator you are missing out. The little ears are for clitoral stimulation and the shaft for vaginal penetration for simultaneous G-Spot pleasure. Let’s just say it was lucky I was alone.